that funny looking asian boy (icraveattn) wrote,
that funny looking asian boy

  • Mood:
  • Music:

what i gave up for lent

On the 21st of February, I got really really stoned on the van ride to see Modest Mouse in Tallahassee. When I get stoned, I get crazy ideas. Sometimes, I leave little messages for a more sober me to find and follow. A lot of times, I go through with it. Keeps life interesting.

On the 23rd of February, I come across a voice recording I had left in my cell phone. Apparently, I had decided after the Modest Mouse show (and a lot of drinking) that I would give up masturbating for Lent. It being the Monday night before Lent (begins on Ash Wednesday), I freaked out. What the hell was I thinking???

I lasted a week.

By the time I had left for the South Florida spring break trip, however, I had stopped again. We left the night of the 8th of March. Didn't do it during spring break. Didn't do it after. A long time after. At some point, I decided that I would hold off until the end of the semester instead of just Lent, to make up for the cheating. I wasn't quite sure when the last time I had cheated was, but I was sure that the end of the semester would equate to more than 40 days.

After a while, I started getting worried. I was waiting for the wet dream. According to everything I had learned in sex ed, wet dreams come every month should a guy have a build-up of semen. Well, hitting 35 days and not having nocturnal emissions caused me some concern. As I read up about it on the internet, I came to the conclusion that once they discover masturbation, guys don't stop. Ever. I couldn't find a thing about anyone actually not masturbating for a while and having issues of not having wet dreams.

During this time, though, I had plenty of sex dreams. Really good ones. What sucked is that I would wake up from them and immediately check my boxers with the hope that I had a wet one. Nada. Hitting day 48 today, I got pissed. My goal had changed from the end of the semester (my semester was done) to whenever I hit a wet dream. I was getting worried that I wouldn't have one.


I woke up this morning laying on the couch. I passed out in the living room again. It was only 9 am, so I went up to my room and played some Red Alert 2. I decided at some point that I would play video games to relieve myself whenever I got the urge. I had beaten half of Red Alert 2 in less than a week during finals week/end of the semester. Then I decided to take an hour long nap.

I had sex three times. In my dream. I woke up after each one. First, there was the blowjob. I woke up and checked myself, got disappointed, and was actually able to fall back into the same dream. Next was a threesome (running in the same dream). Woke up, checked myself, nothing. Then, there was the orgy. And I woke up, checked myself, and then got angry. I had forgotten how badly I needed to do laundry and I had dirtied my last set of clean underwear.

Then, I realized that the abstaining was over and I got excited again.

And that is the story on why I went commando to work today. The end.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.