that funny looking asian boy (icraveattn) wrote,
that funny looking asian boy

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the resolutions, a review

So, I looked back at the resolutions I had made for this year, and to my surprise, I'm doing much better than I had thought I would be doing. Let's review (instead of studying for the final I have in les than 24 hours).

1) I will not let work take over my life.
Especially with the developments, I believe that this is slowly being met. Even with Shannon as the manager, I have been able to say no when I needed to. I've taken off for personal time, party time, and tests. Yes, it's still a big factor in my week, but I'm feeling more free. I'm feeling like I can let it deal with itself sometimes. And about the recent developments, more on that later.

2) I am going to take better care of my body through exercise.
Umm... okay. So maybe I haven’t exactly dived in on this one, but I have plans to! Come on, this is on everyone's resolutions list and nobody ever does it. This just means that I'm a healthy American.

3) No pork.
Ha! I even one-upped this one! Not only have I been dodging pork, but beef has also made it on the list. It started with pork because I figured since two of the world's largest religions (Islam and Judaism) tell its followers to avoid it, there has to be some practical reasoning behind it. Beef was added to the list because I had learned in my environmental science class long ago that beef is the most inefficient meat source we consume because there is such a low output of usable product considering all the resources going in. When I learned this, I justified my beef eating with the claim that its so ingrained in society, beef could not be given up. However, with my giving up pork, it only made sense for me to give up beef with it. Pork, by the way, is the second most inefficient meat source, following beef.

Don't get me wrong, I love to eat pork and beef. I constantly crave pork chops, ribs, and steaks. Did you know that Chef Boyardee does not provide a beef-less option? At least, not a good one. And I'm not one for wasting food, either. If I don't have an option and I'm a guest at someone's house and they make a meal with pork or beef, I'm not going to turn away food. I'm just not going to make it my choice, that's all. Trust me, it hasn't been easy.

4) I have a lot to offer. Start from there.
This one has been especially interesting lately. I've developed a greater sense of self-confidence lately, and it has felt wonderful. I have enough feedback from people to know that I'm a Good Guy. The amount of (mostly unsolicited) positive feedback received has given me a really good readjustment of my self-worth.

Over the weekend, I developed a new view on Things As They Are and I'm pretty damn happy about it. Since I don't want to be single, I view being single as some sort of punishment. I was asking myself if I deserved to be single. I figure I'm not doing anything wrong. I would be great in a relationship. So why am I single? I'm a good person. I deserve to have someone. I'm a good person. Someone would want all the goodness that I come with. And then it hit me.

I bring a lot of goodness with me. Wait, no one person deserves that. I have a lot to offer that many people don't even deserve. It is a good thing that I'm single; that way, my goodness is being spread around for everyone. Should all my attention be focused on an undeserving single person, I am cutting off everyone around me from the goodness that is me. And that would be selfish of that one person. For the betterment of everyone I come in contact with, it is a Good Thing that I am single.

Yes, there may be people out there that deserve all of the goodness that I provide, but they need to make it known. I should not have to put incredible amounts of effort into going after someone mediocre, they should convince me of their goodness. The only way I should put forth the hard effort I am capable of, I should be convinced that the girl is someone great, someone that meets the criteria. Should girls come after me, then so be it. They should have to convince me of their goodness. They should have a lot to offer me.

This new view has gotten some interesting smiles and responses. Mike said, "That is the most egotistical thing I have ever heard. I like it." And that's really an appropriate reaction. Nate asked me, "Should I hit you now or later?" Zach commented with, "That's quite a pep talk you gave yourself." And you know what? Yes. I know. But you know what? I know I'm right, as should they.

It's only April. I have a whole lot more of 2004 to go through while working on these resolutions. The plan is, let's keep going. Things are getting a whole lot better all the time and I want to keep the trend going.
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